Funny Text Messages

Funny Texts For Your Friends

Posted in Funny Text Messages on December 11th, 2011 by admin – Comments Off

Always think before you speak or act,

If you are in a situation and confused,

And your brain is unable to decide,

Then take a deep breath and ask

yourself if you really have brain.

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Boy to a girl: why all the girls are so pretty?

Girl: it is because God has created us with His hands.

Boy: so you think boys are downloaded internet files?

_______________________________

There are six birds sitting on a branch of a tree.

A man appears with a gun in his hands.

He aims and shoots towards birds.

Five birds fly away but there is one bird still sitting there.

Why?

.

.

.

He is just being arrogant.

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Amazing Collection Of Funny Text Messages From Lovely Text.

Make Fun in Elevator

Posted in Funny Text Messages on January 4th, 2011 by boombird – Comments Off

- Make race car noises when people get on and off.

- Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, “Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!”

- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

- Whistle the first 7 notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

- Sell Girl Scout Cookies.

- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, “Got enough air in there?”

- Shave.

- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.

- Lean over to another passenger and whisper, “Ever had a Wet Willy?”

- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral.”

- One word: Flatulence!

- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on.”

- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.

- Do Tai Chi exercises.

- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”

- Give religious tracts to each passenger.

- Meow occasionally.

- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

- Frown and mutter, “Gotta go, gotta go,” then sigh and say, “oops!”

- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

- Sing “Mary Had a Little Lamb” while continuously pushing buttons.

- Holler, “Chutes away!!” whenever the elevator descends.

- Walk on with a cooler that says “Human Head” on the side.

- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.

- Burp, then say, “Mmmmm…..tasty!”

- Leave a box between the doors.

- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

- Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers “through” it.

- Start a sing-along.

- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, “Is that your beeper?”

- Play the accordion.

- Shadow box.

- Say, “Ding!” at each floor.

- Lean against the button panel.

- Say, “I wonder what all these do?” and then push ALL the red buttons.

- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”

- Bring a chair along.

- Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, “Wanna see wha in muh mouf??”

- Blow spit bubbles.

- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

- Announce in a demonic voice, “I must find a more suitable host body.”

- Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.

- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

- Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.

- Stare at your thumb and say, “I think it’s getting bigger.”

- If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, “BAD TOUCH